The office door now bears the LOGO that Natasha had sketched earlier. Natasha sits behind a desk, talking on the phone.

NATASHA

He’s kinda cute in a creepy sort of way. To tell you the truth, I’m a little wigged out by him.

The door opens. Sam stands in the doorway holding his shotgun and an old leather suitcase.

SAM

Grab the holy water, we’ve got a job.

Natasha quickly hangs up the phone. She grabs something that looks like a pepper spray dispenser from her desk. She and Sam rush out of the office.

EXT. STREET - DAY

Sam and Natasha stand before a rusted pathetic 50’s panel van, henceforth to be known as the Sinister Mobile.

NATASHA

What is this?

SAM

Transportation. Get in.

NATASHA

Okay, but I’m ducking down until we get out of the city. I wouldn’t want anyone I know to see me in this thing.

They both enter the van.

INT. SINISTER MOBILE - DAY

Sam is driving. Natasha is in the passenger seat. She has the old suitcase on her lap. It is open, and inside are many religious items and crazy contraptions.

SAM

Silver bullets?

NATASHA

Check.

SAM

Wooden stakes?

NATASHA

Check.

SAM

Garlic packed shotgun shells?

NATASHA

What are we going after?

SAM

Not sure yet. We’ll know when we get there.

Sam looks over to Natasha.

SAM

That reminds me. We should stop and pick up some wolvesbane.

Natasha smiles politely.

INT. FARMHOUSE/BEDROOM - NIGHT

MA and PA, a wholesome farm couple, show Sam and Natasha into the bedroom. JUNIOR, Ma and Pa’s teenage son, is on all fours acting like a rabid dog. He chews on the mattress and GROWLS.

PA

He’s been like this for days. I figure he must be possessed by the Devil himself.

Sam turns to Natasha.

SAM

Hold him down.

Natasha hesitates for a moment, then goes and holds Junior down. Sam takes out his holy water spray dispenser and hits Junior in the face with a blast. It has no effect.

SAM

Holy water has no effect.

Sam stands up.

SAM

This boy is not possessed.

Sam catches a glimpse of a fast moving light outside the window.

SAM

There are witch lights dancing around outside. That means one of the Devil’s concubines is performing her magic.

Sam walks up to Ma and Pa.

SAM

Your son is under a witch’s spell.

PA

What do we do now?

SAM

We have to find and destroy the witch to break the curse.

Sam gets a funny feeling. He stares at Ma. She grows uneasy.

MA

What are you looking at?

SAM

It’s you.

MA

You’re crazy.

SAM

What is the name of your master among the evil demons and what oath did you render unto him?

Without another word, Ma’s skin peels away to reveal ARIANA, a sexy but evil looking witch. She let’s out a CACKLE. Pa is shocked.

PA

Ma, you’re a witch?

ARIANA

Your wife is dead, you fool. And you’re next.

With her magic powers, Ariana sends a dresser crashing into Pa. Junior breaks free from Natasha and goes berserk. Objects from all over the room begin flying about.

Natasha ducks and dodges the flying objects. Sam calmly walks out of the room. A moment later he returns with a flame thrower strapped to his back. He points the nozzle at Ariana.

SAM

What do you do with a witch? Burn her.

Sam hits Ariana with a blast of fire. She ignites easily. She SCREAMS and MOANS as her flesh burns away, leaving only a skeleton. Her flaming bones point a hand at Sam.

ARIANA

You’ll have to do more than this to kill me. I’ll get you Sinister Sam. I’m swearing an oath of vengeance.

Ariana is reduced to a pile of ashes. The flying objects in the room cease to have flight. Junior comes out of his trance. Natasha and Pa approach Sam. Natasha is exhilarated.

NATASHA

That was kick-ass.

PA

I am forever in your debt Sinister Sam. How much do I owe you?

SAM

I’ll have Natasha tally up your bill, and please just call me Sam.

Sam walks over and helps Junior up.

EXT. FARMHOUSE - NIGHT

Sam and Natasha are loading their equipment into the back of the Sinister Mobile. Sam stops suddenly and looks around.

SAM

What’s that?

NATASHA

What are you talking about?

A BEEPING SOUND comes from Natasha’s pocket. She pulls out a pager.

NATASHA

I got us a beeper so we can be accessible to our clients.

Natasha looks at the pager.

NATASHA

Dope. We got another job.

Natasha suddenly gets weirded out. She looks at Sam.

NATASHA

How did you know the beeper was about to go off?

SAM

I’m not sure.

Natasha holds out her arm and shows it to Sam.

NATASHA

Look. You’re giving me goose bumps.

A bat hanging in a nearby tree watches with unusual interest as Sam and Natasha finish loading the Sinister Mobile.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. CUL-DE-SAC - DAY

Jimbo and Jack are walking across the cul-de-sac towards Lorenzo’s house. Jack is dressed in a pirate costume.

JIMBO

We won’t stay long. We just have to pretend to be friendly to our new neighbors, the Sables.

JACK

Are they the black people that just moved in?

JIMBO

No son, you have to call them African Americans now.

Jimbo rolls his eyes. He and Jack approach Lorenzo’s house.

EXT. LORENZO’S HOUSE/BACKYARD - DAY

Lorenzo and Janelle are hosting a barbecue. There are some choice T-bones on the grill and a nice spread on the picnic table. Lorenzo, Ben, and Jimbo are standing together drinking beer.

Skip, Anita, Ty, and Jenny are cheerfully playing badminton. Myra and Janelle are sitting at the table chatting.

MYRA

You’re just going to love it here. This is a great neighborhood, and if you’re thinking about kids, we’ve got great schools too.

JANELLE

I’m just glad to be out of the city and finally get some fresh air.

Jack walks up to the women holding his Halloween bag open.

JACK

Trick or treat.

JANELLE

Honey, it’s not Halloween.

JACK

I said, trick or treat.

Janelle smiles and reaches into her pocket. She pulls out a roll of Certs and puts it in Jack’s bag.

JANELLE

There you go.

JACK

Thank you.

Jack walks away. Janelle looks to Myra for answers. Myra just shrugs her shoulders.

Lorenzo, Ben, and Jimbo are still talking and drinking. In the distance is heard an EVIL SHRIEK. Jimbo and Ben ignore it, but Lorenzo is freaked out.

LORENZO

What the hell was that?

BEN

That’s just Old Man Reicher. He makes noises like that from time to time. You’ll get used to it.

Lorenzo shrugs his shoulders. Jimbo looks at Lorenzo.

JIMBO

What do you do, Lorenzo? Basketball player? Rapper?

LORENZO

That’s funny. Do you think because I’m a black man with some money, that I have to be an entertainer? I’ll have you know that I’m head pathologist at County Memorial.

JIMBO

No offense, just trying to make conversation.

Ben jumps in.

BEN

(To Lorenzo)

Pay no attention to him. He doesn’t know what it’s like to be oppressed like we do.

LORENZO

What are you talking about?

BEN

I’m Jewish. I know all too well the pain of bigotry.

LORENZO

Man, Jewish people aren’t oppressed in this country. Blacks are treated like second class citizens. I’m offended that you would say such a thing.

Ben becomes agitated.

BEN

I’m offended that you think you are better than me because you think your plight is more desperate.  I’m going to leave.

Ben storms off. Myra chases after him. Jimbo chuckles. The Baths stop playing badminton and take notice of the arguing.

JIMBO

You sure know how to throw a party, Lorenzo.

LORENZO

Let me tell you something, he is not better than me, and neither are you. I belong in this neighborhood as much as any of you.

JIMBO

I got a better barbecue than you...

Jimbo points to Barry’s simple charcoal grill.

JIMBO

...and my lawn is greener than yours.

Lorenzo is fuming mad. Jimbo grabs Jack and starts to walk away.

LORENZO

You just wait and see. I’m going to get the best grill money can buy, and by this time next month, my lawn is going to put yours to shame.

Jimbo laughs as he and Jack leave. Janelle walks up to Lorenzo.

JANELLE

Do you feel like a big man now?

LORENZO

I see how it is in the suburbs.

JANELLE

This is not a competition.

LORENZO

Yes it is Janelle. Yes it is.

Lorenzo walks into the house. Janelle looks at Skip, Anita, Ty, and Jenny. She smiles, embarrassed. They return the embarrassed smile.