Sam is driving and Natasha is seated next to him.

NATASHA

We’ve been driving forever. Are we there yet?

SAM

Just about.

Sam turns the Sinister Mobile onto a side road.

EXT. STONE CHURCH - DAY

The Sinister Mobile pulls up to an old stone country church. Behind it is an overgrown graveyard with large marble statues and aging headstones. The sun is beginning to set.  Sam and Natasha get out of the van. They look around.

NATASHA

This place is spooky. I love it.

VICAR, the church’s pastor, exits the church and greets Sam and Natasha. Vicar is noticeably anxious.

VICAR

Are you Sinister Sam?

Before Sam can answer, Natasha speaks up.

NATASHA

That’s right. We’re exterminators of the paranormal.

SAM

What seems to be the problem?

VICAR

It’s difficult to describe.

Vicar reaches into his pocket and pulls out a wad of money. He hands it to Sam.

VICAR

Here’s your payment in advance. I have to be going now.

Vicar starts to walk away.

SAM

How will we know what to take care of?

Without looking back, Vicar answers.

VICAR

When the sun goes down, you’ll know exactly what needs to be done.

Vicar walks down the road. Sam turns to Natasha.

SAM

Let’s get the van unloaded.

NATASHA

I wish you would call it the Sinister Mobile. It’s all part of my marketing plan to shape our image.

Sam rolls his eyes and walks to the back of the van.

INT. BEN’S HOUSE - NIGHT

Myra is sitting in the den reading a magazine. Ben walks in holding a rolled piece of parchment.

MYRA

What’s that?

BEN

Something I got from old man Reicher. Where do we keep the clay?

MYRA

We don’t have any clay.

BEN

I guess I’d better go dig some up.

Ben walks out the back door. Myra resumes reading her magazine.

INT. STONE CHURCH - NIGHT

Sam and Natasha are sitting on the altar. Their equipment and weaponry is neatly piled by the pews. Natasha is twiddling her thumbs.

NATASHA

The witching hour has come and passed. What are we doing here?

SAM

I don’t know, but I can sense an evil presence.

NATASHA

I’m bored. I’m going for a walk.

SAM

That’s not such a good idea.

Natasha stands up and grabs a spray canister of holy water.

NATASHA

I’ll be fine. I’ll take this with me.

Natasha exits the church.

EXT. GRAVEYARD - NIGHT

Natasha is walking through the rows of headstones. A dark cloud moves in front of the moon. She stops in front of a headstone that reads: NECRO PHAGIA.

NATASHA

Necro Phagia.

Natasha ponders the name.

NATASHA

I took Latin in college, I should know what that means. Necro Phagia?

She figures it out.

NATASHA

Dead skin. That’s it. Necro Phagia.

A creepy VOICE from OFF SCREEN whispers to Natasha.

VOICE (O.S.)

You said it three times.

NATASHA

Who said that?

Natasha whips around but can’t see the source of the voice. She does, however, see a long wooden stake sticking out of the ground.

NATASHA

Where did this come from?

VOICE (O.S.)

If you pull, I will push.

Natasha looks around nervously. She grabs the stake apprehensively, and slowly pulls it out of the ground.

NATASHA

Now what?

Natasha holds for a reply, but gets none. From behind her, NECRO PHAGIA, a seven foot tall man with rotting flesh and big fangs, emerges from the grave. He stands behind her, dripping and oozing. She is unaware of him.

NATASHA

I’m not in the mood to play games.

Necro SMACKS his lips. The sound causes Natasha to slowly turn around to face him. She is mortified by his grotesque appearance.

NATASHA

Cripes.

Natasha sprays Necro with the holy water. It has no effect on him. He grimaces and raises his arms.

NECRO

Arise!

Natasha looks around fearfully. The ground begins to rumble, and soon dozens of zombies rise from their graves. Natasha SCREAMS.

INT. BEN’S HOUSE/GARAGE - NIGHT

Ben has the parchment rolled out on his work bench. He holds a glob of clay in his hands. He studies the scribblings on the parchment, then walks OUT OF FRAME, GIGGLING.

EXT. GRAVEYARD - NIGHT

Natasha stands frightened in front of Necro. She turns in circles to see that the zombies have her surrounded and are closing in.

NECRO

We must eat the flesh of the living so that we may take a human form.

NATASHA

Go find somebody else to chew on.

The zombies draw nearer.

NATASHA

Sam! Help!

Just as the zombies are about to grab Natasha, GUNSHOTS ring out. Sam is running toward Natasha, blasting zombies left and right with his AR-15 assault rifle. He shoots a path to her.

A zombie grabs a hold of Natasha. It opens it’s mouth and tries to bite her, but Sam thumps it in the head with the stock of his gun, killing it.

NATASHA

You have impeccable timing.

SAM

Let’s get the hell out of here.

Sam and Natasha kick, punch, and shoot their way through the walking dead, as they flee back to the church.

INT. STONE CHURCH - NIGHT

Sam and Natasha run into the church, bolting the door behind them.

NATASHA

I guess we know what our job here is now. The question is, how do we get rid of these dead heads?

SAM

Not a big deal. Zombies are the undead, our silver bullets and wooden stakes should do the trick.

Sam grabs the shotgun and tosses it to Natasha.

SAM

Load this up with the holy buckshot.

Natasha starts to load shells into the shotgun. The lights go out. The zombies begin BANGING on the door. Sam and Natasha can here the zombies MOANING and GROANING.

NATASHA

I don’t like this, Sam.

SAM

Just keep your cool, and aim for the head.

The BANGING gets louder and more furious. Sam and Natasha ready themselves, with their guns pointed at the door.

NATASHA

Say a prayer for me.

The door bursts open and zombies pour into the church. Sam and Natasha start blasting away. The zombies are dropping like flies. Natasha runs out of shells. She kneels and starts reloading the shotgun. She nervously struggles.

NATASHA

Come on.

A zombie crashes through a window and pounces on Natasha. She screams. Sam turns his attention on her. He kicks the zombie off of her and stabs it with the wooden stake bayonet at the end of his AR-15.

The zombies are getting closer. Natasha finishes loading the shotgun. She and Sam resume shooting the walking dead. They finish them off. There are piles of dead zombies everywhere.

SAM

See, I told you it would be a piece of cake.

NATASHA

That was da bomb. We wasted them all, Sam.

Both Sam and Natasha look relieved. That is, until they hear the slow heavy thump of FOOTSTEPS approaching.

SAM

We’re not done yet.

Sam’s eyes grow wide when he sees Necro enter the church.

NATASHA

That’s the first one I saw. I think he’s the king of the zombies.

Sam takes aim and fires at Necro. The shots do not phase him. He continues to walk towards Sam and Natasha.

SAM

He’s a stubborn one.

Sam rushes Necro and plunges the wooden stake bayonet into his heart. Necro laughs and grabs Sam by the throat.

NECRO

Now I can take my human form.

Necro opens his jaws and prepares to chomp on Sam. Natasha cracks Necro in the head with her shotgun. He falls down and releases Sam. Sam and Natasha run off. Necro gets up and pursues them.

INT. STONE CHURCH/BASEMENT - NIGHT

Sam and Natasha work their way through the dark labyrinth beneath the church.

SAM

Stay close.

NATASHA

I can feel rats crawling across my feet.

SAM

There’s got to be a way out of here.

They come to a dead end. They can hear Necro’s FOOTSTEPS behind them.

NATASHA

Dead end!

SAM

This one is not a normal undead creature. We have to find a way to destroy him.

NATASHA

His name is Necro Phagia.

SAM

How do you know that?

NATASHA

I read it on his gravestone.

The FOOTSTEPS are getting closer.

SAM

Did you read it, or say it out loud?

NATASHA

Out loud, I think.

SAM

How many times did you say his name?

Natasha counts on her fingers.

NATASHA

I’m pretty sure I said it three times.

SAM

That’s it. All you have to do is say his name three more times to send him back to the grave.

Just then the FOOTSTEPS stop. There is an eerie silence. Sam and Natasha look around.

NATASHA

It stopped.

There is an uncomfortable moment, then Necro leaps from the darkness and tackles Sam. He wrestles with the foul creature.

SAM

Say his name, Natasha.

NATASHA

No way. You say it.

SAM

I can’t. You created him. You have to destroy him.

Necro gets Sam pinned and prepares to bite his throat.

NATASHA

Necro Phagia, Necro Phagia, Necro Phagia!

Necro freezes, then turns into dust. An inexplicable wind whisks the dust away. Sam brings himself to his feet and breaths a sigh of relief.

INT. SINISTER MOBILE - NIGHT

Sam is driving. Natasha rides shotgun.

SAM

We definitely earned our money on that job.

NATASHA

There’s something I forgot to tell you. After I said Nec...

Sam interrupts.

SAM

Don’t say it.

NATASHA

..his name three times, I did something else.

SAM

What?

NATASHA

I pulled a stake out of the ground. Do you think that’s important?

SAM

I doubt it. I wouldn’t lose your head over it.

Natasha smiles.

EXT. GRAVEYARD - NIGHT

Necro’s grave is intact. The wooden stake lay in front of the headstone. A MANIACAL LAUGH echoes from the grave and the headstone glows.

EXT. ROAD - NIGHT

The Sinister Mobile drives down the road. The bat from the farmhouse scene is flying behind the van, following it.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. JIMBO’S HOUSE/KITCHEN - DAY

Jimbo and Jack are eating breakfast at the kitchen table. The serenity is suddenly shattered by a thunderous THUMPING that causes the table to shake.

JIMBO

What in the Sam Hill was that?

The THUMPING continues. Jimbo goes out the front door to investigate. Jack follows.

EXT. CUL-DE-SAC - DAY

Jimbo comes out on his front porch and finds the source of the thumping. In Ben’s front yard is a huge GOLEM, an eight foot tall clay beast, stomping around. Jimbo and Jack rush over to Ben, who is standing in his driveway smiling.

JIMBO

What the hell is that Ben?

Lorenzo comes out of his house and runs over to Ben’s driveway. He stares in awe at the Golem. On the Golem’s forehead, the word “EMETH” is etched.

BEN

How do you like my Golem?

JIMBO

Your what?

BEN

Golem. I made him in my garage last night. He obeys my every command.

Ben looks at the Golem.

BEN

Golem, fetch my newspaper.

The Golem stomps to the end of the driveway and grabs the newspaper. He brings it to Ben. Jimbo, Jack, and Lorenzo are mesmerized by the huge behemoth. Lorenzo points to the Golem’s forehead.

LORENZO

What’s that on its forehead?

BEN

“Emeth”. It’s Yiddish for “the truth”.

Jimbo stands admiring the Golem. He turns to Ben.

JIMBO

That’s pretty cool. Where can I get me one of those?

BEN

That’s the beautiful part. You can’t get one.

JIMBO

Why not?

BEN

Because you’re not Jewish. Only a Jew can make a Golem.

Ben laughs.

LORENZO

That doesn’t seem fair.

Ben points at Lorenzo.

BEN

Look at you, with all of your oppression...

Ben then points to Jimbo.

BEN

...and you with your Holier Than Thou Christianity. You both have nothing, and I’ve got this beautiful obedient Golem.

Ben continues to laugh. Jimbo and Jack turn and head back to their house. Lorenzo heads towards his house. Just then, the Bath family comes out of their house and sees the Golem. Ben yells out to Jimbo, Lorenzo, and anyone who’ll listen.

BEN

I’m the king of the cul-de-sac now. Get used to it fellows. The crazy Jew has a Golem and is better than you.

Ben laughs loudly and starts to dance. The Golem tries to imitate Ben’s dance. Terrified, Skip quickly whisks Anita, Ty, and Jenny back into the house.