Sam is tinkering with an electronic device on his desk. He hears the DOOR OPEN. He grabs his shotgun and swings around to see Natasha in the doorway. She is startled.

NATASHA

Chill out, Sam. It’s just me.

Sam lowers the shotgun.

SAM

Sorry, things have been getting weird around here.

NATASHA

You’re telling me.

SAM

Do you remember when I knew we were getting a call just before your beeper went off?

NATASHA

Sure. That gave me the creeps.

SAM

Somehow I’ve picked up the ability to sense evil. I feel it inside of me. Like I know when something is going to happen and I can even gauge where it is happening.

Natasha smiles.

NATASHA

You are so freaky.

Sam grabs a book from the shelf and opens it.

SAM

Do you know what a succubus is?

NATASHA

Suck your what?

SAM

Succubus. It’s a demon that comes in the night to seduce men. If one should concede, the she-devil takes his soul. Here, take a look.

Sam shows her a medieval drawing of a female winged demon in the book.

SAM

I think one came to visit me last night.

Natasha grabs Sam’s arm.

NATASHA

That’s so freaky. I had a strange experience last night too. First I was chased by a bat, then some weirdo tried to get me to ride in a carriage with him.

Sam sets the book down.

SAM

There is definitely something unusual going on, and I’ve got a pretty good idea of where we should look. Come on, let’s take the van, er, I mean, the Sinister Mobile.

NATASHA

We can’t. I brought her into the shop for some repairs.

SAM

It’s a nice day, we can walk.

Sam grabs his leather suitcase. He and Natasha exit the office.

EXT. HERMAN’S OFFICE - DAY

Sam and Natasha stand in front of an office building. A big sign on the building reads: HERMAN APHRODITE LTD. Sam is holding his suitcase.

NATASHA

Herman Aphrodite? What are we doing here?

SAM

It’s hard to explain. I’m just drawn to this place.

NATASHA

Your ESP?

SAM

Whatever it is. It’s telling me that something ungodly is going on in here.

NATASHA

But this guy isn’t evil. He’s a big time art dealer.

SAM

Let’s take a look around back and see what else he deals in.

Sam and Natasha walk around the side of the building.

EXT. ALLEY - DAY

Sam and Natasha climb through a ground-level window and enter the rear of the building.

INT. HERMAN’S OFFICE/STOREROOM - DAY

Sam and Natasha are standing in a large dusty storeroom. The room is filled with wooden crates. Some of the crates are marked with: TRANSYLVANIA.

NATASHA

Look at all these crates. I wonder what’s in them.

Sam points to a marked crate.

SAM

Look at this. Transylvania.

Sam sets his suitcase on a crate and opens it. He takes out a pry-bar. He starts prying the lid on a crate.

NATASHA

I don’t think you should be doing that.

Sam gets the crate open. It’s filled with dirt.

SAM

Interesting.

NATASHA

What’s so interesting about dirt?

Sam picks up a handful of dirt and lets it run between his fingers.

SAM

Not dirt. Desecrated soil from Transylvania. I believe Mr. Aphrodite may be a vampire.

Sam spots an elaborate coffin. He points to it.

SAM

And it looks like he intends to make our fair city his permanent home.

NATASHA

Holy crap. Do you think he’s in there?

Sam grabs a wooden stake from his suitcase. He and Natasha slowly approach the coffin.

SAM

I hope so.

Sam puts his hand on the coffin. He raises the wooden stake.

SAM

Stand back. They don’t always die pretty.

Natasha backs up. Sam flings open the coffin and prepares to strike, but it’s empty.

SAM

Just our luck. Now we have to go looking for the Dark Prince of Hell.

Natasha cocks her head like she’s heard a noise.

NATASHA

Did you hear something?

Sam and Natasha turn around and find themselves confronted by two huge rottweilers. The dogs have glowing red eyes, spiked collars and large teeth that are dripping with saliva.

SAM

Run!

Natasha and Sam take off for the window. The dogs chase after them. Natasha gets to the window first. Sam pushes her out. As he tries to climb out, one of the dogs chomps down on his leg. The dog pulls Sam to the ground.

The second dog tries to bite Sam, but he pummels it with the wooden stake. Sam struggles to break the first dog’s grip on his leg. Natasha is standing outside the window SCREAMING.

NATASHA

Sam! Grab my hand.

Natasha tries to reach for Sam but it’s no use. The dogs continue to attack. One of them knocks Sam’s suitcase on the ground. Sam reaches for it and grabs the holy water spray can.

Sam sprays the dog biting his leg. The holy water burns it’s face and it releases Sam’s leg. Sam hits the other dog, burning it too. The wounded dogs run off. Sam quickly picks up his suitcase and exits.

EXT. ALLEY - DAY

Sam and Natasha run away from the ground-level window. Sam’s leg is bloody and he has a limp.

NATASHA

Those were some mean dogs.

SAM

They’re hell-hounds. They protect a vampire’s lair during daylight.

Sam and Natasha high-tail it out of there.

INT. HOSPITAL/HALLWAY - DAY

Lorenzo walks down the vacant hospital hallway. He’s dressed in a white doctor’s coat and carrying a small black bag. He reaches a door marked: MORGUE. He looks around to make sure no one sees him, then enters.

INT. HOSPITAL/MORGUE - DAY

There are a dozen dead bodies on slabs. They have toe-tags and are covered with sheets. Lorenzo enters and places his small black bag on a table.

Lorenzo looks under a few sheets until he finds one he likes. He pulls the sheet back on a middle-aged white corpse.

LORENZO

This one kind of looks like Jimbo Sparks. Perfect.

Lorenzo smiles. He pulls a piece of parchment out from his white doctor’s coat. He looks at it for a moment, then goes to his small black bag. He takes out some incense and lights it.

LORENZO

Now what?

Lorenzo refers to the parchment. He takes a bottle of rum and a bowl from his bag. He pours some rum in the bowl. He reaches into his bag and pulls out a clump of hair, a vial of blood and a live chicken.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. CUL-DE-SAC - DAY

Lorenzo is sitting in a lawn chair in his front yard. He smiles as he watches his Zombie mow the lawn. The Zombie is beginning to show signs of decay, but is generally in good condition. It moves slowly and staggers a bit.

Jimbo and Ben come out of their houses and see the Zombie. They walk over to Lorenzo, who is grinning from ear to ear.

LORENZO

I hope my yard work didn’t disturb you.

BEN

What, in the name of all that is unholy, is that?

LORENZO

(acting coy)

Oh, that. It’s my zombie. Do you like it?

JIMBO

That’s a human.

Lorenzo stands up.

LORENZO

Not any more, he’s deceased. I brought him back from the dead.

JIMBO

Isn’t that against the law?

LORENZO

It’s voodoo my friend. It’s a Haitian thing. It’s just too bad you guys aren’t black like me, or you could get one too.

BEN

We’re just fine without one.

LORENZO

Are you now? See, my Zombie isn’t big and clumsy like your Golem...

Lorenzo turns to Jimbo.

LORENZO

...and he ain’t small and puny like your sorry ass Mandrakes. He’s just the right size for doing all of my chores.

Lorenzo laughs. Jimbo is getting angry.

JIMBO

You think you are so great.

LORENZO

Yes I do. And I’ll tell you another thing. I picked this one out because he looks like you. It’s like I have my own personal Jimbo Sparks for a slave.

Ben laughs. Jimbo fumes.

JIMBO

I’ll show you.

Jimbo yells over his shoulder.

JIMBO

Mandrakes! Attack!

A half dozen Mandrakes run out from the bushes and dart towards the Zombie. They jump on the Zombie and knock him over. The Mandrakes punch the struggling Zombie.

LORENZO

You better get your damn Mandrakes off my Zombie.

JIMBO

Make me.

LORENZO

With pleasure.

Jimbo and Lorenzo square off, fists at the ready. Ben calls over his shoulder.

BEN

Golem!

Jimbo and Lorenzo circle one another preparing to fight.

JIMBO

It’s a good thing you’re a doctor, so you can treat yourself after I whoop your ass.

LORENZO

I hope you have good medical insurance, because I’m about to activate your deductible.

Lorenzo is about to throw a punch when the Golem grabs both combatants by their heads. It lifts them into the air by their skulls. They both kick and squirm.

BEN

We are all neighbors, we can’t have fighting like this.

JIMBO

Let us down.

BEN

Only if you behave yourselves.

LORENZO

He’s crushing my skull.

BEN

(to Golem)

Down Golem.

The Golem puts Jimbo and Lorenzo down. They both rub their aching heads. Skip comes out of his house. He is horrified to see the Golem, Mandrakes, and Zombie. He yells out to Ben, Jimbo and Lorenzo.

SKIP

You shouldn’t be fooling with the forces of evil like that.

Simultaneously, Ben, Lorenzo, and Jimbo flip Skip the “bird”. Ben turns to Jimbo and Lorenzo.

BEN

Let’s try to work out our differences in a civil manner.

JIMBO

Shut up Ben.

BEN

That’s just what I would expect from you.

LORENZO

I agree with him. I wish you would just shut the hell up.

Ben is offended.

BEN

Fine, if that’s the way you want it.

Ben turns to his Golem.

BEN

Attack!

The Golem lumbers over and starts beating on the Zombie and the Mandrakes.

LORENZO

You’re in for it now.

Lorenzo, Jimbo, and Ben all begin beating on each other. They roll around in a pile, fists flying everywhere.

Myra comes out on her porch. Janelle steps out her front door. Jack is on his stoop.

MYRA

Ben!

JANELLE

Lorenzo!

JACK

Dad!

The men stop fighting, as do their creatures.

MYRA

Get in this house now!

JANELLE

You are in trouble mister!

JACK

I thought you told me fighting was wrong!

Ben gets up and walks back to his house, followed by his Golem. Lorenzo goes to his house, with his Zombie behind him. Jimbo and his Mandrakes walk to Jack on the stoop.

INT. REICHER’S HOUSE - DAY

Once again, the bony hand pulls back the curtains, revealing a view of the cul-de-sac. Jimbo, Lorenzo, Ben and their magical creatures can be seen. The owner of the bony hand lets out the most boisterous LAUGH yet.

EXT. CITY STREET - DAY

The sun is beginning to set. Sam and Natasha walk down the street. Sam’s leg is still bloody and he’s limping. He sits down on a bus bench to rest, placing the suitcase on the ground. Natasha sits next to him.

NATASHA

Your leg looks bad. We have to get you to hospital.

SAM

There’s no time. The sun is going down and that vampire is going to be coming after us.

NATASHA

What makes you think he’s going to come after us?

SAM

It stands to reason that if I can sense evil, evil can sense me.

Sam opens up the suitcase and takes out a bottle. He opens the bottle and pours the liquid on his leg wound.

NATASHA

What is that? Eye of newt?

SAM

It’s a magic potion known as hydrogen peroxide.

Sam bandages his leg, then packs up his suitcase.

SAM

Let’s get moving. We don’t want to get caught on the street unprepared.

Sam and Natasha walk off.

INT. BEN’S HOUSE/LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Ben and the Golem are sitting on the sofa watching TV. Ben LAUGHS and slaps the armrest. The Golem also LAUGHS and slaps his armrest. The armrest breaks off and the sofa collapses.

Myra walks into the room to see what happened. She looks at Ben and the Golem on the broken sofa. She shakes her head and exits.

INT. LORENZO’S HOUSE/KITCHEN - NIGHT

Janelle enters the kitchen and sees food, bottles, and condiments all over the counters.

JANELLE

What the...

Janelle opens the refrigerator. She SCREAMS when she sees that the frige has been gutted and the Zombie is inside.

JANELLE

Lorenzo! Get in here now!

Lorenzo enters the kitchen.

LORENZO

What’s wrong?

JANELLE

Get that nasty thing out of my refrigerator.

LORENZO

He’s a zombie. I have to keep him cool so he doesn’t rot.

JANELLE

This is not negotiable.

LORENZO

But baby.

JANELLE

You are this close.

Janelle holds up her forefinger and thumb. She then slugs Lorenzo in the arm and storms out.

INT. JIMBO’S HOUSE/DEN - NIGHT

Jimbo and Jack are standing at opposite ends of the room. Both of them have baseball gloves on. Instead of a ball, they are tossing a Mandrake back and forth.

JACK

It’s dark now Dad. When can we go trick or treating?

JIMBO

I want you to stop that crap, Jack. You’re driving me crazy with that stuff. It ain’t Halloween.

A stack of Mandrakes standing on each other’s shoulders enter the room. The top Mandrake has a beer can. It puts the beer on a table near Jimbo.

JIMBO

Ground ball!

Jimbo skips the Mandrake across the ground towards Jack. Jack steps in front of the rolling Mandrake and fields it.

EXT. DARK STREET - NIGHT

Sam and Natasha walk nervously down the abandoned street in the industrial section of town. Sam still carries his suitcase.

NATASHA

Maybe we should have taken a cab.

SAM

I agree.

Natasha notices the full moon. She stops in her tracks.

NATASHA

Wait a minute. The full moon was two nights ago, but look at that.

Natasha points to the moon.

SAM

Interesting.

NATASHA

How can that be?

There is a loud SCREECHING noise. Sam and Natasha look up to see Herman swooping down from the sky at them. Herman now has bat wings and long fangs. Sam and Natasha run. Herman flies after them.

Herman buzzes Sam, knocking him down. Natasha helps him up. Herman pulls a U-turn in mid air. Sam and Natasha run into an old warehouse.

INT. WAREHOUSE - NIGHT

Sam and Natasha rush into the dark empty warehouse. Natasha bolts the door, while Sam kneels and opens his suitcase. Natasha kneels next to him. They are in front of a big window.

SAM

Let’s see what we’ve got.

Sam picks up the holy water spay and shakes it.

SAM

I used up the holy water on the hell hounds, and I dropped the wooden stake.

Natasha points to a pistol.

NATASHA

What about that?

SAM

Silver bullets? No good on vampires. What we need is...

Herman crashes through the window and grabs Sam. He drags Sam out of the warehouse. Natasha tries to help, but Herman punches her, knocking her down.

EXT. DARK STREET - NIGHT

Herman has a hold of Sam. Sam elbows Herman in the face and breaks free. They square off against one another. Sam throws a punch, but Herman blocks it. Herman counters with a blow to the mid-section. Sam doubles up.

HERMAN

Pathetic mortal. You can’t win.

Sam comes up with a punch to Herman’s jaw. Herman reels back. Sam leaps into the air and hits Herman with a spinning round-house kick to the temple. Herman drops to the ground.

SAM

Dirty bloodsucker.

Herman brings himself to his feet. He and Sam once again square off. They exchange martial arts style punches, blocks, and kicks.

HERMAN

You’re good, but I’m better.

Herman unleashes a flurry of jabs. Sam is stunned. Herman knocks him down with a haymaker. Herman sits on Sam’s chest.

INT. WAREHOUSE - NIGHT

Natasha is on the ground, still dazed by Herman’s punch. She gathers her bearings. She sees a garlic clove in Sam’s open suitcase. She grabs it and exits the warehouse.

EXT. DARK STREET - NIGHT

Herman is on top of Sam. He pushes Sam’s head aside to get a clear path to his neck. He opens his mouth exposing his dripping fangs.

Natasha runs up and rubs the garlic clove on Herman’s face. Herman WAILS as his face sizzles and smokes. Natasha threatens Herman with the clove. Herman gets off of Sam and flies away into the night, SCREAMING.

Natasha kneels by Sam’s side. She looks at his battered face.

NATASHA

Sam, look at your face.

Sam, a bit loopy, laughs.

SAM

You should see the other guy.

NATASHA

I’m taking you back to my place.

Natasha helps Sam up.