Thel walks down the hallway, towards his parent’s bedroom. He goes to knock, when he overhears his parent’s conversation. He listens at the door.

MOM(O.S.)

Are you sure we should leave Thel alone for the weekend?

DAD(O.S.)

What kind of trouble could he possibly get into? The kid’s a nerd.

MOM(O.S.)

That’s a terrible thing to say.

DAD(O.S.)

It’s true. He’s got no friends, definitely no girlfriends. All he does is read. By the time I was his age, I had more pussy than a fish market dumpster.

Mom giggles.

MOM(O.S.)

You’re such a bad boy.

A lone tear streaks down Thel’s face, as he slinks away from the door.

INT. THEL’S HOUSE/DEN - NIGHT

Thel, Pam, and JUSTIN, their nerdy friend, sit around the den. They are eating chips and drinking root beer. The neighbor’s dog is BARKING, and the three friends sit silently, waiting for it to stop. Justin breaks the silence.

JUSTIN

How long does this go on for?

THEL

Sometimes hours.

Finally, the dog stops barking. The friends breathe a sigh of relief.

THEL

Doesn’t this seem boring to anyone?

JUSTIN

We get together every Friday night. What’s the problem?

THEL

Everything. The three of us sitting around, drinking root beer. It’s geeky.

Pam jumps in.

PAM

News flash. We are geeks.

JUSTIN

(To Pam)

No. Thel’s right. We need some women. If I don’t get laid soon, I may never get any. What do you say, Pam, will you have sex with me?

PAM

I don’t do nerds.

Pam and Justin laugh. Pam speaks to both Thel and Justin.

PAM

Here’s a good “what if”. Suppose you could have sex with any woman on the planet, but afterwards, you would have to die. Would you do it, and if so, who would it be?

JUSTIN

No way. I’m sure sex is good, but it’s not worth dying for. Besides, I have a stack of Hustlers and my trusty right hand.

Pam emotes disgust.

PAM

We can always count on you to bring the level of conversation down.

Pam looks at Thel.

PAM

What about you?

THEL

Kelly Douglas, and I’d die with a smile on my face.

PAM

What? You want that airhead? She’s got nothing to offer.

Justin interjects.

JUSTIN

I can think of a couple of things.

Justin holds his hands out, as if he is simulating breasts. Thel and Pam ignore him.

THEL

Who would you die to have sex with?

PAM

I don’t know if I would be willing to die, but my ideal man would be smart, sensitive and caring, and when we did it, it wouldn’t be sex, it would be making love.

JUSTIN

Sensitive? Caring? What about looks, or money?

Pam answers Justin, but stares longingly into Thel’s eyes.

PAM

I’m not as shallow as you. My perfect man need only be a loving nurturing machine.

Thel gets a little nervous from Pam’s stare. He quickly changes the subject.

THEL

What do you say we ditch the root beer and go raid my father’s liquor cabinet?

JUSTIN

What’s with you? Are you turning into a party animal?

THEL

I hear the cool kids at school on Monday morning. They talk about how wasted they got, and how much fun they had. I’ve tried the nerd thing, and now I’m ready to try something new.

PAM

(To Thel)

Getting drunk is overrated. I had a shot of gin at my Aunt Patty’s house. It made me feel ill for the entire night.

JUSTIN

Besides, alcohol makes you stupid. Just forget about it.

Thel looks disappointed at his friends.

PAM

Let’s order a pizza.

Pam grabs the telephone. Thel stares off into space, longing for something better. The dog starts BARKING again. Thel is oblivious to Justin and Pam. He is only conscious of the dog barking.

EXT. BUTLER STREET - DAY

Thel exits his house and begins walking down the street. MRS. GINTY, an elderly crone, and her poodle, are in her front yard. The poodle is barking, as usual. As Thel walks in front of Mrs. Ginty’s house, she yells at him.

MRS. GINTY

You punks were carrying on till all hours of the night. How’s an old woman supposed to sleep?

The statement angers Thel. He stops and looks at Mrs. Ginty.

THEL

Maybe if your dog would shut up, we could all get some sleep.

Mrs. Ginty gets riled. She shakes her fist at Thel.

MRS. GINTY

Don’t speak to me in that tone, you hooligan.

Mrs. Ginty looks at her poodle.

MRS. GINTY

Sick ‘em, Precious.

The poodle runs to Thel and bites his leg. Thel kicks the dog away, and runs down the street. The poodle chases him.

EXT. ALLEY - DAY

Thel ducks into the alley. He stops, as he feels he has lost the dog. He is out of breath. He looks at the blood on his leg. The dog bite is pretty severe.

Suddenly, a garage door opens, startling Thel. Evan, the stoned soldier, from the beginning of the story, steps out of the garage, into the alley. Evan is much older now, and sporting long hair and a beard. He is dressed like it’s still 1969. Evan looks at Thel.

EVAN

Hey, man. What’s happening?

THEL

I didn’t mean to disturb you.

Evan looks at the blood on Thel’s leg and giggles.

EVAN

You’re bleeding. Did you know that?

THEL

My stupid neighbor’s dog bit me.

EVAN

Come on in. I’ll hook you up.

Thel is apprehensive.

THEL

That’s okay. I’m sure it will be fine.

Evan smiles a big goofy grin.

EVAN

It’s cool, little brother. You don’t have to worry about me biting you.

Evan motions towards the garage. Thel reluctantly follows Evan into the garage.

INT. GARAGE - DAY

The garage doubles as Evan’s house. It is decorated in early psychedelia. There are jars of roots and herbs all over the place. Evan seats Thel in a large beanbag chair.

EVAN

I’ll get you up and grooving in no time.

Evan goes to a cabinet and grabs a glass vial of clear liquid. Thel looks around the garage, amazed at the 60’s artifacts. Evan returns to Thel, and kneels in front of him.

EVAN

This might sting a bit.

Evan drops some liquid from the vile, onto the wound on Thel’s leg. Thel winces in pain.

EVAN

Told you.

To Thel’s amazement, the dog bite wound heals before his eyes. Evan laughs.

THEL

Wow. What is that stuff?

EVAN

Extract of Qaxilla leaf. It’s from the Amazon.

THEL

I’ve never heard of it before.

Evan corks up the vial.

EVAN

That’s because the establishment doesn’t want you to know about it. It would take too many dollars out of the fat cat’s pockets, and he wouldn’t be able to buy a new BMW.

Thel looks at his leg again, still in awe.

THEL

Are you a doctor?

EVAN

Sort of. I’ve been dabbling in herbal medicine for years now.

Evan grabs another beanbag chair, and pulls it close to Thel.

EVAN

It’s kind of a trippy story, actually.

Evan plops into the beanbag chair.

EVAN

A long long time ago, back when hippies roamed the planet, I was in Africa, when I met a Witch Doctor. We sat in his hut for three weeks, getting high off of every kind of plant and animal you can imagine. Eat a leaf if you want to go up, lick a frog if you want to come down. I was so fucked up, that I could feel my brain rotating on it’s stem.

Evan simulates a gyrating motion, with his hands.

EVAN

Then that crazy old witch doctor gave me a piece of the sacred root. I went soaring into a different plane. I achieved a level of consciousness that mortal man cannot possibly understand. I traveled to the fourth, fifth, and sixth dimensions, man.

Evan looks at Thel with a strange seriousness.

EVAN

I’ve been herbalistic ever since.

Thel is feeling a bit spooked.

THEL

I really should be going.

EVAN

That’s cool.

Evan and Thel stand up. Evan gets a thought.

EVAN

Hold on.

Evan grabs the woven bag, that the Witch doctor had given to him. He brings the bag over to Thel.

EVAN

The witch doctor gave this to me, and now I’d like to give it to you.

Thel looks at the bag.

THEL

What is it?

EVAN

If life is a journey, this is the in-flight movie.

THEL

I’m not really into the drug thing.

EVAN

This isn’t drugs, it’s freedom. Take it. You need it.

Thel takes the woven bag from Evan.

THEL

Thank you.

Evan smiles.

EVAN

See you on the other side, little brother.

As Thel is about to leave, Evan grabs him. Evan has a spooky, yet serious look on his face.

EVAN

Be careful with that stuff. That shit will blow your fucking mind.

Thel walks out of the garage. He is somewhat confused.

INT. THEL’S HOUSE/BEDROOM - DAY

Thel enters and drops the bag Evan gave to him on the dresser. He grabs some money from his sock drawer and exits. The bag mysteriously opens and vivid colorful lights shoot out.

INT. CONVENIENCE STORE - DAY

Thel is at the counter, purchasing a soda. A CLERK is making change for Thel. In the candy isle, stands Craig and Howard. They are staring at Thel and snickering. Thel doesn’t notice them.

CRAIG

That guy is such a fucking loser. He makes me want to puke.

HOWARD

Yeah. I bet he ain’t had pussy, since pussy had him.

Craig and Howard grab several packs of gum. As Thel leaves the store, Craig and Howard approach the counter.

EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY

Thel walks to the middle of the convenience store parking lot. He stops and opens his soda. He looks under the soda cap. Suddenly, Craig and Howard are standing behind him.

CRAIG

Hey fuck face. Where’s your girlfriend?

Thel turns around to face the bullies. They are both chewing gum.

THEL

I don’t want any trouble, guys.

HOWARD

Why not? What, are you a fag?

CRAIG

Maybe he’s one of them gay fags.

Craig and Howard laugh. Craig gets serious and gets in Thel’s face.

CRAIG

I heard you were talking some shit about me.

THEL

I wasn’t, I swear.

CRAIG

Are you calling me a liar, you fucking queer?

Craig grabs Thel by the neck. Craig and Howard drag Thel, kicking and screaming, behind the convenience store.

INT. LUCKY’S HOUSE - DAY

Thel sits in a chair, in the middle of Lucky’s bedroom. Thel’s hair has twenty to thirty wads of gum stuck in it. Lucky stands in front of Thel, holding electric shears. Lucky’s room is plastered with Nazi and Skinhead memorabilia.

LUCKY

You came to the right man. I can help you get even with those assholes.

Lucky turns on the shears.

LUCKY

But first, we got to do something about your hair.

Luck starts shaving Thel’s head.

LUCKY

You are going to make one hell of a skinhead. Let me hear you say “Oi!”.

Thel, very unenthusiastically replies.

THEL

Oi.

LUCKY

Can I get a “white power”?

THEL

(With even less zeal)

White power.

LUCKY

It needs some work.

Lucky shaves Thel’s head bald, snickering the entire time.

INT. LUCKY’S CAR - NIGHT

Lucky is driving the beat-up primer gray Chevy Nova. Thel sits in the passenger seat, rubbing his freshly shaved head. In the back seat, are THREE SKINHEADS.

The Skinheads and Lucky are singing along to “SOMEONE’S GONNA DIE TONIGHT” by Blitz, which is BLASTING from the stereo. The song finishes, and Lucky turns down the volume. He looks at Thel.

LUCKY

Are you ready for some pay-back?

THEL

Yes.

LUCKY

You don’t sound like you mean it. Do you want to make those motherfuckers squirm.

Thel becomes slightly more enthusiastic.

THEL

Definitely.

LUCKY

Those guys embarrassed the fuck out of you. Do you want to fuck them up, or what?

THEL

Hell yes.

The Skinheads cheer.

LUCKY

(To Thel)

All right, then. You’re going to need this.

Lucky takes a BB gun from his jacket and hands it to Thel. Thel is scared by the weapon, as he thinks it’s a real gun.

THEL

This is too much. I thought we were just going to beat them up.

LUCKY

If you don’t take them out, they’re going to kill you. The man who survives, is the one who takes lives.

Thel sits silently.

LUCKY

Don’t sweat it. People get shot all the time. Especially niggers. The cops will think it’s gang related. They’d never suspect the class geek.

Lucky spots Craig and Howard sitting at the outdoor table of a taco stand. Lucky pulls the car to the curb and stops. Lucky looks at Thel, who’s extremely nervous.

LUCKY

Just pull the trigger. The gun will do the rest.

Thel slowly gets out of the car. Lucky looks at the Skinheads. They all try to retain their laughter.

EXT. TACO STAND - NIGHT

Craig and Howard sit at an outdoor table, feasting on tacos. Thel gets out of the car and approaches them. Craig looks up at Thel and laughs.

CRAIG

Nice fucking haircut.

Thel points the gun at Craig. Craig and Howard are shocked at first, then they realize that the gun is a toy. Craig stands from the table. The gun shakes in Thel’s hand.

CRAIG

Are you going to shoot me?

THEL

Damn right, I am.

Craig walks towards Thel. Thel’s whole body is now shaking.

CRAIG

Then do it, you little pussy. Put a bullet right through my heart.

Craig gets close to Thel, and snatches the gun from him. Craig knocks Thel to the ground. Lucky and the Three Skinheads laugh, as their car peels away. Craig points the gun at Thel.

CRAIG

You could have shot my eye out.

Craig fires BBs at Thel. Thel cries out in pain and curls up into a ball. Craig and Howard laugh. Craig looks at Howard, who’s still eating tacos.

CRAIG

You want to give me a hand here?

Howard gets up from the table and goes to Thel. Howard and Craig begin to pull off Thel’s clothes.

HOWARD

Some people never learn.

CRAIG

The level of ignorance is almost more than I can stand.

Thel is stripped naked. Craig brings Thel to his feet. He kicks Thel in the butt.

CRAIG

Get moving, nature boy.

Thel starts to run down the street. Craig hands the BB gun to Howard.

CRAIG

Would you care to take a shot?

Howard points the gun at the naked fleeing Thel, and takes a couple of shots.

HOWARD

Let’s see him explain this to his mamma.

Craig and Howard laugh, as they return to the table for more tacos.