Thel is face down on his bed. He is crying and pounding his fists. He rolls over and kicks the nightstand. In a blind tear-filled rage he gets to his feet and begins tearing his room apart.

Exhausted, he falls on the floor. He sits up and leans against the bed. His face is filled with anguish. He notices the woven bag, given to him by Evan, next to him. He reaches into the bag and retrieves a golden knuckle-sized piece of dried root. Thel studies the root for a moment.

He wipes the tears from his face, then slowly puts the root in his mouth. It is bitter, but Thel chews away at it. He swallows, then sits motionless, expecting something to happen. When nothing does, he gets up and pushes play on his CD player.

Just as the music BLASTS from the speakers, the drug kicks in. Thel looks like he ran into a brick wall.

INT. DRUG WORLD - NIGHT

The music BLARES as Thel hurdles down a colorful tunnel of light. All around him are graphic images of sex and death. Thel travels at break-neck speed towards a brilliant white light. The light engulfs him.

INT. THEL’S BEDROOM(TRIP VERSION) - NIGHT

Suddenly, Thel is back in his room, sort of. The walls appear to be breathing and the room is illuminated by red light. Disoriented, Thel looks around.

He sees a sinister looking man, named CRUTCH, perched on his desk. Crutch has slicked-back black hair and a goatee. He is dressed in a shiny black suit. Thel is frightened.

CRUTCH

Pretty fucked up, huh?

THEL

Who are you?

Crutch jumps to the ground, and walks to Thel.

CRUTCH

I’m Crutch.

THEL

What are you doing here?

CRUTCH

I’m not here and neither are you.

Thel looks confused. Crutch circles Thel.

CRUTCH

I know this can be a little discombobulating, but you must think. Try to remember what brought you here.

Thel’s eyes light up.

THEL

The root.

Crutch grabs Thel’s head and kisses him on the cheek.

CRUTCH

I love you, man.

Thel looks at Crutch.

THEL

I’m tripping, aren’t I?

Crutch smiles a devilish grin.

CRUTCH

Feel the darkness, baby.

THEL

What do we do now?

CRUTCH

Whatever you want. This is your world. In here, you are a god.

THEL

Then, what are you?

Crutch smirks.

CRUTCH

Just a tour guide.

Thel looks around his red room, in amazement.

CRUTCH

I’ve been watching you, kid. You need help.

THEL

I’m doing okay.

CRUTCH

Bullshit. You’re a loser, and you have no self-confidence. You’re so chicken-shit, you won’t even leave the toilet seat up, because you’re scared Mommy will yell at you.

THEL

If I’m a god, why are you making fun of me?

Crutch puts his hand on Thel’s shoulder.

CRUTCH

It’s your call, but I think we need to build you up.

THEL

What do you have in mind?

CRUTCH

The dog.

THEL

What dog?

Crutch gets irate.

CRUTCH

Don’t play coy with me. The fucking poodle, next door. I bet you’d like to do something about him, wouldn’t you?

THEL

Boy, would I ever.

CRUTCH

Come with me.

Crutch and Thel melt into the floor, and disappear.

EXT. MRS. GINTY’S FRONT YARD - NIGHT

Mrs. Ginty’s poodle is taking a dump on her front lawn. The feces liquefies. Thel and Crutch materialize from the pool of liquid poop. The poodle barks at Thel’s feet.

CRUTCH

Look at that thing. It’s not even a dog. It’s a snack for a bigger dog. Pick him up.

THEL

He’ll bite me again.

CRUTCH

This is your world. You make the rules.

Thel reaches down and picks up the barking dog. Thel looks to Crutch for more guidance.

CRUTCH

Now pull his fucking head off.

With ease, Thel rips the poodle’s head off. Blood splashes everywhere, as Thel drops the dog’s body. Thel laughs gleefully, as he looks at the dead dog’s head.

THEL

Motherfucker!

Thel hurls the dog head at Mrs. Ginty’s front door.

CRUTCH

You’re doing just fine, kid.

Thel turns excitedly towards Crutch.

THEL

I want to get laid. Can I do that?

CRUTCH

Have you ever dipped your wick before?

THEL

Not exactly.

Crutch rolls his eyes.

CRUTCH

What exactly have you done? Have you ever gotten a stinky pinkie? Have you ever flicked a perky cheerleader’s nipple? Have you ever felt a bare naked hiney?

Thel lowers his eyes.

THEL

No.

CRUTCH

Then you need some professional help.

Once again, Thel and Crutch melt into the ground.

EXT. CHEAP MOTEL - NIGHT

Thel stands outside of a motel room. Crutch comes out from the room.

CRUTCH

She’s primed and ready. Go get her, tiger.

Thel goes for the door. Crutch stops him.

CRUTCH

Wait. Take this. I lifted it from your dad’s wallet.

Crutch hands Thel a wad of money.

CRUTCH

And this.

Crutch gives Thel a condom.

CRUTCH

It’s always safe sex with the whores.

Thel enters the motel room.

INT. CHEAP MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

Thel enters the room, and sees a naked HOOKER lying on the bed. Thel smiles, as he drops his pants. He gets on top of the Hooker and begins to awkwardly pump and thrust. She lies motionless. Thel nears climax, then, suddenly, everything goes black.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. THEL’S HOUSE/BEDROOM - DAY

It is morning, and Thel is sleeping in his bed. His room is back to normal. He abruptly wakes up. He looks around, in confusion.

He opens his left hand and sees a condom wrapper. He jumps out of bed, in a state of near panic. He picks up the woven bag of roots, and runs from his room.

EXT. BUTLER STREET - DAY

Thel runs from the house, carrying the woven bag. He runs past Mrs. Ginty’s house. She is on the front lawn, calling for her dog.

CONTINUED:

(CONTINUED)

MRS. GINTY

Precious? Where are you? Come home, mamma’s got a treat for you.

Without a glance, Thel runs past her and down the street.

EXT. ALLEY - DAY

Still carrying the bag, Thel runs into the alley, where Evan’s garage is. He is shocked to see THREE COPS by Evan’s door. COP #1 is putting crime scene tape up. COP #2 looks over at Thel.

Terrified, Thel turns and runs away. Cop #2 starts to run after him.

COP #2

Hey, kid. Come back here.

After a few steps, Cop #2 stops.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. SCHOOL - DAY

Pam stands by the schools front entrance. Students are filing into the school. Thel runs up to Pam. He looks a little freaked out. Pam observes Thel’s bald head.

PAM

Like the ‘do.

Thel ignores her.

THEL

Have you seen Justin? I really need to talk to him.

PAM

He’s playing hooky. Apparently, the porno channel is having an all-day anal-sex-a-thon, and he wants to record it.

Thel is in deep thought.

PAM

Hey, where have you been lately? I tried calling you all day Saturday and Sunday.

THEL

I don’t even know where to begin.

Just then, Craig and Howard walk by. Craig mashes a piece of gum to Thel’s head, but the gum won’t stick to his bald scalp. Craig looks at Howard.

CRAIG

We could have a problem here.

HOWARD

Let’s go to homeroom, and get some thumbtacks.

Craig and Howard walk off. Pam yells at them.

PAM

You assholes.

Pam looks back to Thel.

PAM

Somebody needs to teach those guys a lesson.

Thel gets very evil looking.

THEL

Their day is coming sooner than you think.

PAM

When do you want to study for Blake’s mid-term?

THEL

I don’t know. Give me a call.

Thel walks off. Pam is confused by the weird vibe that he’s giving off.

INT. SCHOOL/CLASSROOM - DAY

Thel sits in the front row of Mr. Ryan’s class. Kelly is behind him, and the bulk of the students are acting rowdy. Thel is staring into space, when Kelly gently rubs her hand on his bald head. Startled, Thel turns around.

KELLY

I love the way the stubble feels. It’s so soft.

Thel is at a complete loss for words. Kelly smiles, then Mr. Ryan enters the room. The rowdy students quickly take their seats. Thel turns back around, to face the front.

MR. RYAN

Your assignment, over the weekend, was to write a protest song. Why don’t we hear from Thel first?

Mr. Ryan looks at Thel.

THEL

Sorry Mr. Ryan. I didn’t have a chance to do it.

Mr. Ryan looks shocked, and the class collectively gasps.

MR. RYAN

Thel didn’t do his homework? Something eerie is going on here.

Mr. Ryan looks at Kelly.

MR. RYAN

How about you, Kelly? Would you care to share your protest song with us?

KELLY

Actually, I didn’t do it either.

Mr. Ryan looks a little disappointed. He looks around the room.

MR. RYAN

Would all those who did do the assignment, please raise their hands.

Not one hand goes up.

MR. RYAN

People. This is supposed to be a fun assignment.

Mr. Ryan thinks for a moment.

MR. RYAN

I’ll tell you what. My environmental group had a successful recycling drive this weekend, so I’m in a good mood. You can all have an additional two days. But no more excuses.

Mr. Ryan goes to the blackboard, and begins scribbling something about participles.

INT. SCHOOL/CAFETERIA - DAY

Kelly is walking towards a table, holding her lunch tray. Thel runs up to her.

THEL

Hi Kelly.

Kelly stops and smiles.

KELLY

Hi Thel.

Thel musters all of his courage.

THEL

Would you go out on a date with me?

Kelly’s smile turns into a face that lets Thel know, he’s about to be let down.

KELLY

You’re a nice boy, and all, but we hang in different worlds. It just wouldn’t work out. You understand, don’t you?

Kelly smiles again, then walks away. Thel stands alone, in defeat.

INT. THEL’S HOUSE/BEDROOM - DAY

Thel runs into his room, slamming the door behind him. He grabs the woven bag, and takes out a piece of happy root. Thel quickly ingests the root. He stands anxious, waiting for the fireworks.

First, his computer explodes, then the walls of his room quickly burn away. Thel now stands in the middle of a forest.

EXT. FOREST - DAY

Thel stands in the middle of the forest. He looks around. Suddenly, Crutch jumps out, from behind a tree.

CRUTCH

Boo!

Thel is startled. Crutch approaches him, with a sinister smile.

CRUTCH

Came back for more, did you? They always do.

THEL

You said I’m a god in this world, right?

CRUTCH

And then some.

THEL

Then I want Kelly. I want her to be my girlfriend, and I want to make love to her.

Crutch looks deep into Thel’s eyes.

CRUTCH

She’s good, isn’t she. A finer woman would be hard to find.

Crutch puts his hands on Thel’s shoulders.

CRUTCH

There’s just one problem.

Thel waits for the answer. Crutch violently shakes Thel’s shoulders.

CRUTCH

You’re a fucking loser. She wouldn’t have anything to do with a guy like you.

Crutch stops shaking Thel.

THEL

But you said...

CRUTCH

Look, kid. I like you, and Kelly would too, if she got to know you. You can’t go to her as a snot-nosed little geek. You have to go to her as a man. You have to show her something. Impress the panties right off her firm teenage ass.

Crutch picks up Thel and tosses him over his shoulder. Crutch and Thel disappear, as they walk behind a tree.

INT. HOWARD’S CAR - DAY

Howard is driving and Craig rides shotgun. They are both very drunk. Howard is swerving all over the road.

HOWARD

I am so fucking wasted.

CRAIG

We are the kings. What other studs could drink a whole bottle of grain in the back of study hall, and not get caught?

Craig and Howard both let out invigorated yells.

CRAIG

Drop me off around back. I don’t want my mom to see me like this.

Howard stops the car.

HOWARD

We are around back, stupid.

Craig looks out the window, and recognizes the back entrance to his apartment building.

CRAIG

Fuckin’ A.

Craig and Howard bump fists, then Craig gets out of the car.

EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY

As Craig gets out of the car, he yells to Howard.

CRAIG

Take it slow, bro.

Craig slams the car door. Howard drives off, hitting bushes and garbage cans. Craig turns to enter the building, when he finds himself face to face with Thel. Thel has an aggressive look on his face.

CRAIG

Hey, pussy pants. What the fuck are you doing here?

THEL

I wanted to personally thank you for all the years of abuse you’ve given me.

CRAIG

Don’t mention it. In fact, I’m not busy. I could shove your head up you ass and turn you into a perpetual anus, if you like.

Thel grits his teeth.

THEL

That won’t be necessary.

Thel produces a hammer, from behind his back. He cracks Craig in the skull, dropping him instantly. Thel stands over Craig, repeatedly bashing him on the head with the hammer.

Craig convulses as blood splatters from his head. Thel continues to swing the hammer, grunting like a wild animal. Thel stops. He is breathing heavy, as he checks out his dirty work.

Crutch comes from around the corner. He claps, as he walks towards Thel.

CRUTCH

Bravo. That was awe-inspiring. Look at me. My nipples are hard.

Thel looks at Crutch and grimaces.

THEL

I liked that, a whole lot.

CRUTCH

Now, my little sociopath, you are a man.

Thel looks at Craig’s dead body with pride. He licks some blood that splashed on his face.

EXT. KELLY’S HOUSE - DAY

Thel and Crutch stand outside of Kelly’s bathroom. They are watching, as Kelly gets out of the shower. She is completely naked, as she begins to towel off.

CRUTCH

Jiminie-freaking-cricket. Would you look at those titties.

THEL

She’s everything I’ve ever wanted.

CRUTCH

My boy is growing up.

Crutch wraps his arm around Thel’s head and gives him a nuggie.

INT. KELLY’S BEDROOM - DAY

Kelly sits naked on the corner of her bed. She is slipping on panties. Crutch is standing beside Kelly, and Thel is in front of her. She is oblivious to their presence. Crutch looks at Thel.

CRUTCH

Step up to the plate, slugger. This here is the big league.

Crutch judo-chops Kelly on the back of the neck. She falls back onto the bed, unconscious.

THEL

Why’d you do that?

CRUTCH

She may not be ready for your unique brand of studliness.

Thel stands motionless, staring at Kelly.

CRUTCH

You got five minutes. I’m going to see what her mother looks like.

Crutch runs from the room. Thel approaches Kelly and begins to gently fondle her breasts.