As you know, I'm trying really hard to keep my opinions of the officiating out of these pages, but it is impossible to describe the games without bringing it up. Hey, it's a holiday, I'm on vacation, I guess it's okay. No box scores. I can't even remember the final scores. Also, I'm not quite sure who put the puck in the net, so for the purposes of this report, all goals were scored by Brian Zacchia unless otherwise noted. Also, we have a new goaltender named Timur. I don't know his last name and I'm not sure that's how you spell his first name. Let the vagueness begin:

The first game of the First Annual Simi Valley Turkey Shoot Holiday Hockeyfest-o-rama, or FASVTSHH for short, was against the Mariners A team. Due to a wardrobe malfunction, AJ Zavitz was unavailable for top-line duty and Josh Donovan took his place to start the game. It worked out pretty good actually. Josh had a monster shift that saw him single-handily keep the puck alive in the offensive zone. Eventually, he got to the front of the net and after a lot of banging, Brian Z. chipped the puck in. Hey hey, the Killer Bees were up 1-0. The boys were playing great and had the A team on their heels. Then an inter-dimensional space cloud moved in and obscured the linesman's view of the blue-line. The A team reeled off 4 goals, 3 of which came on blatantly missed off-sides calls. The ref didn't argue our assertion that they missed the calls, he was just offended that we implied it was three in a row. The Killer Bees kept battling and got another goal from, oh let's just say Conrado Gesauldi, but it wasn't enough to overcome. They lost 5-2, I think, but generally played a good game.

The second game on Saturday was against an in-house team of Midgets, though they did have at least one Bantam. The Killer Bees jumped all over these guys early. AJ put one in the top corner from a nearly impossible angle to start things off. Words can't describe how awesome that shot was. The boys would get a couple more scores from either Brian Z. or Conrado, or a combination of both. At some point, Zach Marshall snuck in from the blue-line and took a pretty feed from Conrado to extend the lead. I'm always so proud when my defensmen get on the board. Everything was looking great, then it fell apart like some cheaply made-in-China Walmart crap. The Midgets came storming back and actually tied things up. The boys were reeling and it looked like they were going to blow it. With less than a minute left, the top-line swarmed the In-House net and managed to poke one in. I want to say it was Conrado, but I'm probably mistaken. In any case, the Killer Bees snuck out a dramatic victory. Much like the Pasadena game I was too involved in coaching to appreciate this thrilling game.

Early Sunday morning the Killer Bees had a rematch against the Midgets. I felt in the first meeting the boys played a little soft, so I encouraged them to pick up the hitting. Killian Anderson set the tone early when he plastered a big guy into the glass. The dude got up and Killian jacked him again. Everybody was hitting. And I mean everybody. Shawn Wentzel had several Earth-shattering crushes. EJ Frank was mauling guys on the forecheck. My man Brad Kreigel, thanks for the calendar, was snuffing out skaters in the corners. Blake Burlew and Tom Dobrokhot had a mosh pit going in front of the net. It was beautiful. All of the Killer Bee physicality really pissed off the much older and larger In-House team and caused them to retaliate. Unfortunately, the officials failed to enforce the rules or take control of the situation. The midgets were able to build a seizable lead by mauling our goaltenders. Poor Timur had to leave the game after taking a shot to the neck and then Brian Felt got a lesson in obstruction and interference. This lack of control finally manifested itself in the third period when one of the midgets delivered a ruthless shot to Tyler Serianne's head. Killian came in and, using a step ladder, repaid the head shot. Then Tyler got up, using a cherry picker, and started wailing on the kid. Hey, the ref finally called something. The boys lost this one by a score of 5-1, I think, but I was very happy with how tough they played.

By the time the last game rolled around the only thing the Killer Bees were playing for was pride. Boy 'o boy did they come out proud. They continued the physical play from the last game and combined with sound hockey to take the A team by surprise. They boys had their opponents scrambling around without a clue. Niko Utash played like a man possessed, leading the rush and sustaining the forecheck. The boys got a ton of great chances and dominated the early goings. Again, the officiating became a huge issue. Inconsistent calls and a general failure to enforce the rules worked against our boys all game long. This actually happened: one of the A players shot the puck in from his side of the redline. As the linesman was skating by, I asked him why he waived off the icing call. With a straight face, he informed me that it was because the player had put the puck off of the boards. If you don't know why that's funny, go look it up in the rule book. No amount of bad officiating could put a damper on the play of the year however. For some unknown reason, Patrick Gibson was in the penalty box. The team did a great job of killing the penalty. Patrick served his time and jumped out of the box. As he did, the puck came to him and he was in all alone on the goalie. Time slowed down, like in the Matrix, and Patrick buried that sucker. We all went freakin' nuts, because that kid was due. Once again the game got out of control and once again, it took Tyler getting cheap-shotted to get the ref's attention. The boys lost this one, but they certainly played well enough to win.

I would like to extend a big thank you to El Presidente Paddy O'Donnell for putting on this shindig. I know he had more than his share of headaches and horse manure in trying to make it happen. On behalf of the entire Killer Bees team I'd like him to know that we appreciate his effort and tell him that we had fun. I hope this is the first of many Easy Street tournaments to come.

Brad Kriegel came through like a champ. He hooked me up with a sweet Redwings calendar from his recent visit to Joe Lewis Arena. In an unrelated story, Brad received extra shifts all tournament long.

I'm so happy for Blake's dad. During the second game against the In-house team he made a new friend.

How frickin' good were those Chronic Tacos? Man, if those guys ever open one up in Burbank they'll be millionaires. Also, for the first time all year we finally got some prompt and reliable service at restaurant for our post-game meal. Rock on Famous Dave's.